Confessions of a Colt

 I am a dog.

Jes, it is true. I like to do a lot of dog things; I like to chase the leetle amarillo ball in the yard, sleep at the end of de bed and even lick my private parts just because I can.

I do not, however, like to be outside. This drives mi madre and padre LOCO! I whine so I can go chase the ugly leetle squirrel, do my business and then whine like a bebe to come back inside.

Madre always sayz "Coltito! Why can't you just be a dog and stay outside? We worked so hard so that you could have a back yard and be able to be outside all the time and play with your brother!"

But I do not care. Outside? It is hot. It is dirty. There is no couch for me to curl up on inside. Jes, I have toys outside. Jes, I have agua. But there is something about squishy grass that just does not do it for me. I even will poop on the deck if it is raining. Ick. Soggy grass. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Mylo thinks outside is the best. He will run around, and lay in the sun and take dog naps...but then again...we all know he is pretty stoopid. Oh come on, you know you were thinking it too.

Contortion Master

It has been 0 Days since our last accident

Lo Siento

Oldie but a goodie

Hey y'all!

Momma bear at the keyboard...the boys have been pretty good lately, but every once and while I have to remind myself they're not angels. Here's a perfect example from about a year or so ago...Makes me laugh every time! Enjoy.

Mopey Mom

Mom has been moping around all day today calling herself the "Worst Dog Mom Ever". It must have something to do with the Drawer of Doom--you know, the scary drawer that has all of the flea and tick lava, the bath accouterments and the horrible horrible paw nail clippers (which is what she brought out!)

She went for Colt first--Thank Scooby above! I of course ran away and peed on the stairs even though mom was no where near me with the clippers. Then I camped out on my chair and hid my paws.

Anywhoo, Mom started chasing Colt and cursing him because he was running away and getting blood all over the carpet. Apparently Mom cut his nail a little too short and was out of Quick-Stop! I don't know if you've ever had your paws clipped too short, but when it starts to bleed it just does not stop. 

Eventually Mom caught Colt after he trailed blood all over house and get him bandaged up... 

But he kept chewing at it so he had to wear the Cone of Shame..NeeNerNeeNerNeeNer!

But he just cuddled with Mom the rest of the afternoon and she gave him so much love! She even started crying and apologizing. We tried to tell her that it happens all the time...even the vet does it! She just needs to get some quick-stop for next time. Colt said it didn't even hurt.

Now Mom is crawling around cleaning the floors complaining about people coming this weekend and having bloody floors... sometimes I just don't understand my humans. I'm just sitting down on my chair relaxing.

Lazy Wrestling

Hullo! Mylonious here again...

           A few days ago, a bunch of men Colt and I didn't recognize invaded our yard and dug up the ground! Frankly, I cannot believe mom didn't yell at them because she is always yelling at me for digging holes. But she just watched and let them work while we were busy going from window to window to make sure they weren't up to anything funny. Now, early in the morning, magic water spurts from the ground. 

Because of all of the work out there, our whole backyard is just now that squishy brown stuff and now mom doesn't let us go out to play as much anymore. When she does, she comes with and really tires us out with the ball and sticks and games and SQUIRREL BE RIGHT BACK

Okay hi! Sorry, just saw one of those squirrel monsters in the back and Colt says if we don't chase it and get it we'll never get a cookie again. Where was I? Oh yeah!

So anywhoo, after we played those big scary drops of doom started coming down from the sky, and like I always do I ran to the door yelping because I'm pretty sure if I get wet my fur will fall off. 

We came back inside and I still wanted to play but I was tired and so was colt...so we did the best we could. Mom calls it "Lazy Wrestling"

Don't even care

I am so uncomfortable right now, but I don't even care because I'm on dads lap

How to get Cookies

Hola! It's my turn!

It's me Colt. Mom calls me Coltito because I'm bilingual and she thinks she's being all cute. But its okay because I looove her. Dad? Eh, he's okay, but Mamá es la que más me gusta..

...even though she tells people I look like a feo hyena. 

I've spent my life trying to figure out how to get the most galletas from the humans, and I have finally figured out the key--but not without a lot of trial and error. Here's what I've tried:

I've tried going to bed on time.

I've tried getting along with the cat.

I've tried rolling over

I've tried baths

I've tried being good at the vet.

and I've tried being good on my walks

But if Mom has taught me one thing, it's that

Looking muy guapo is the best way to get cookies!

Feline Domination

Meow. 7:37 am. The canines are sleeping peacefully with the female human upstairs. The Male human has awoken, but is distracted by his morning ritual. He left the laptop open allowing me to access that stupid dog's diary. I am happy to see he has yet had much to say about me. I may proceed with phase two of "Mr. Kitty Take Over" presently.

The Not So Dog Park

Gooooooood Afternoon!

 It was SUCH a fun day today that I just to get my paws on mom's computer and share...

Aunt Sandi pretended to throw a ball and Colt Fell for it

So this morning, Mom started walking around telling us that Oliver was coming over. Oliver is our cousin and we haven't seen him in like a month and I was so excited I almost peed myself. Actually, when he got here I did pee myself. Mom just found it on the rug. Heh.

Anyway, Aunt Sandi and Oliver came in and...you'll never believe this..but they put our leashes on!

I love my Cousin!

WALK TIME WALK TIME WALK TIME OH MY GOSH WE WERE GOING ON A WALK AND I WAS SO EXCITED AND I DON'T THINK THAT ANYONE COULD KNOW JUST HOW EXCITED I WAS SO I HOWLED AND CRIED AND BARKED AND OH MY GOSH

And then we went on a walk!  WELL! On the walk we stopped at a lake and GUESS WHAT! Mom and Sandi took all three of us off the leashes and let us run and swim and play an chase turtles while they walked around the lake.

And then all of a sudden, Mom and Sandi threw our leashes on without warning. Apparently there we were not actually at a dog park so when park patrol came by they didn't want to get scolded. I understand, because I hate getting scolded too...like when I eat Mr. Kitty's food.

We got back and we were so tired...so very tired. And stinky because you know, the ducks and the turtles and the water. I like to roll around in the dirt when I am wet too because I think it helps the stench stay on for a while. Dad does not agree and yells at me when he sees it.

Later, Mom came home and brought some green stuff with her. She was planting a garden and Colt and I offered to help. I like to help by smelling on everything and peeing on it. That way no one will mess with it since they know it's mine. I am excited to steal the food that mom says is going to come from these green things.

 I also help by looking cute

Tomatoes, Basil, Peppers, Thyme, Rosemary, Zucchini, Squash, oregano. Tadaaaa!

Sounds like dinner to me!

Hullo! Mylonious the Dog here...

This is me!

Hullo!

My name is Mylo. Or Mylonious...or Mo..or dumb dog. I am not really sure.

I do know, however, that I am a dog. I know this because my Mom and Dad tell me all the time (I'll tell you more about that in another post)


I have a brother--his name is Colt--he tells me all the time he's in charge.


...and there is another thing that lives in the house that stalks around and makes bread on Mom and Dad's tummy. He smells like an animal I would want to eat, but Mom and Dad say I can't eat Mr. Kitty. I don't have a picture of him because he doesn't let me get close enough.

This is my brother, Colt!

A few months ago, Dad left for work for a very long time. Meanwhile, Mom packed up the whole condo into scary box towers. Dad came home and we went for a very long two day car ride. All of our boxes came too and now we live in a house in a really hot place called Texas. This place is AWESOME because we have a backyard and Colt and I get to play outside all the time without our leashes on!

Life has gotten pretty great these past few weeks and I just wanted to share! Stay tuned for more updates about the adventures and maybe mishaps my brother and I get into...but in the meantime, for these two happy pups,  Life Ain't Ruff!